But let’s be honest, no one eats salad for the lettuce. They are all based around the basic lettuce and tomato of hit point pools and extra actions. I meant for the Paragon Creature rules to be a kind of salad bar of fantastic olives and croutons and bleu cheese crumbles you could sprinkle onto any old monster and turn it into an exciting boss fight. Because I sort of might have forgotten to explain some s$&% last time. So, I’m kind of better than Erwin Schrödinger.īefore we launch into today’s awesome topic (a monster that’s better than two snakes which, I might add, can be both alive and dead at the same time too), I want to take a second to review and update the Paragon Creature thing. But seriously, if you’re reading this blog, you’re more likely to use cool boss monsters than some partial differential equation about waveform evolution. Now, I’m not saying that my idea about hit point pools and extra actions and Paragon Monsters is as important as the equation that describes the evolution of basically every goddamned subatomic particle in the universe as long as we’re not looking at it (seriously). And more importantly, does anyone even mention pretty much the most important f$&%ing equation in all of quantum theory? Want to guess why it’s called the Schrödinger equation?! Does anyone give a motherloving f$&% about the fact that Schrödinger’s cat was actually him trying to rip holes in the Copenhagen interpretation by showing how ludicrous it was? You could have a cat that was both alive and dead. I mean, for f$&%’s sake, did people go to Erwin Schrödinger and say ‘I don’t really get why that cat thing is so cool?’ Well, that’s a bad example, because that’s all anyone knows about Erwin Schrödinger. So obviously, a good half of the feedback was “that thing with the two snakes isn’t really the amazing thing you think it is.”Well no s%&$! I KNOW! I said the thing with the two snakes was a thought experiment. But I did promise I was just laying the groundwork for something much cooler. And then I showed you a pretty lame ass way to make a monster last a little longer and hit a few more times. Okay, two weeks ago I barged back onto this whole blogging scene by announcing I’d figured out the perfect way to build climactic boss monster type encounters in Dungeons & Dragons 5E.
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